If you find yourself treating your partner with distant civility that makes you both look and feel more like colleagues than partners, it might indicate that monotony has got the better of your love life. When you spend a lot of time with one another in a long-term relationship, there is a tendency to start taking each other for granted, and so you stop making that special effort to keep your love life exciting.
You could try going back to what you started off with – a date. Remember talking nineteen to the dozen over a cup of coffee or holding hands during a movie? Revive that atmosphere, and you could rediscover the person you first fell in love with.
DATE YOUR MATE
Children, home, work, family – all of these make demands on your time. Soon, these take precedence over the time you spend together as a couple. The first time you plan a date, it might seem like an unnecessary chore for someone you see everyday, but take that time out. Make sure you’re completely free – if you have children, get your parents to take care of them for a while. Switch off your phone or ensure that everyone in the office knows you’re busy during that time.
WHAT, WHERE, HOW?
If you’ve done too much of the going-out-to-eat routine, make this date different. Go for a walk, to a movie or a concert. If you both share an interest, plan some activity around it. This has all the potential to turn naughty – make a meal together. Making a mess in the kitchen is as much fun as it seems in the movies!
THE OLD MAGIC
This date might not be as stimulating as when you first started going out. You’ll have to make an effort to make this time special. It’s the little surprises that fall by the wayside when both partners have busy lives. Get your partner flowers, or create a cosy ambience at home. Make or order something special for dinner. Try to talk about something you haven’t discussed before. Don’t let office problems intrude here – just try to discover something about your partner you never knew before. And more than anything else, have fun!